“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are”

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Do you often hear about how important it is to accept yourself as you are?

Recently I had a conversation about it with a friend, who is confused about this idea. Her problem is that she is always late and it bothers her. “Does acceptance mean that suddenly I should like everything about me? Even the fact that I am always late, making others around me angry?”

It seems to me that many of us are afraid that the moment we accept ourselves as we are, we will never move forward in our lives. That is what our minds often tell us and they tend to offer the worst-case rather than the best-case scenario.

There are moments when I feel I have arrived there; at the place of an absolute self-acceptance. I then look little deeper and realize that these are moments when I have lots of energy, enthusiasm, and accomplish everything I planned. Moments when I feel good and attractive, when I always have the right answer, when I have all the confidence in the world…simply the best version of me.

Well, that is easy. Life however (fortunately) is never linear. Other days arrive, days at which I feel like I don’t have energy at all, don’t feel very smart, and when I look in the mirror it doesn’t make me feel better. This is when the trouble begins…as it is hard to accept this part of me…

Something inside me doesn’t want this, is putting up resistance and ignoring how I feel. Come on Anna, what is going on? Get up, move on, and don’t whine.
You absolutely should go to this meeting otherwise you might miss something really important. Ok, I say and indeed move on, not allowing myself a break. But what is missing is the energy and enthusiasm and the results aren’t usually the best ones.

I strongly believe that ultimate goal of personal growth is THE self-acceptance so I keep working on my challenges. And the more I work on it, the more I experience that if I do accept my“I don’t have energy at all”days and embrace this state, then this is when I truly rest and the energy comes back eventually. When we take a rest, energy starts to flow naturally, as we made room for the new energy to arrive.

Accepting yourself doesn’t necessarily mean liking every aspect of you. It means being willing and able to experience everything you think, feel, or do. If we accept everything about ourselves, we naturally want to move forward in our lives. We have a different motivation, doing what we truly want and not what others want us to do. In this state of self-acceptance we let our authentic self come to light, making room for our creative energy and creativity.

You may ask here “But how do I do it? Where do I start?”

Start to think of yourself as if you were thinking of your child and care for yourself in the same way as for your beloved child. Have a dialogue with yourself to understand what is happening in you.

Observe yourself and notice what is going on in you. Maybe you are overworked, tired, or hungry. Articulate your unmet needs and ask yourself “What can I do now to feel better? What can others close to me do to support me?” and ask for help if you need it.

It is easy to care for others; we all do it, however many of us have never learned to take care of ourselves.

Have you ever heard about Universal Law of Priority? “You must first save yourself before you can save another.”

So next time you catch yourself ignoring your needs, this Law will serve as a great reminder.

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